Day 12 - No More Blah Days

The day began with a stint at the job, and ended with a stint at my 2nd job.  Anything that happened in between was unmemorable. 

Next week brings about new adventures. I am taking time to do things I love.  I made a couple calls already, to get a few folks on board.  Life is NOT just about working.  (Umm humm moment)  I am in control of my destiny.  If I want to have MORE fun in this life I'm living, then it is solely up to me.  

No more blah days.  Everyday has got to be more fabulous than the day before.  I must begin each day, with the intent on making life richer.  If I don't do something to enhance someone's life, then my living is in vain.  This life WILL NOT be in vain.  Love

Day 11 - Keep It Movin'

Unfortunately, this was another non productive day.  After running all week, at some point things tend to catch up with you.  I think life is catching up with me.  

I'm still pushing myself toward daily exercise.  I have always known what it takes to get mentally healthy.  Putting the proper actions into practice is a whole different game...so I must proceed. 

I spoke with an old friend today, and he asked, "How are you feeling"?  I appreciate, just the fact that someone has heard me say, I need to make some changes, in order to feel energetic.  I'm okay.  As each day goes by, I identify and eliminate things that are not good for my life.  

One of the things that irks me, is when people allow their animals to run loose.  I can recall growing up, and my father allowing his dog(s) to run around the yard, without a leash.  Now, in my adult life, it irritates me when I'm out walking, and am forced to have to interact with other folks' pets.  I've seen far too many stories, where people have been mauled by a dog.  Unfortunately, there are some people that don't think the "leash law" should pertain to their dog.  "My dog won't hurt you"!  How many times have we heard that one? The dog catcher usually can't get to you quick enough, to catch the culprit in action.  So for now, I guess all I can do is just keep the number close.  I WILL call.

Keeping it movin'.  Love

Day 10 - Nothin' Doin'

The day seemed to slip by me on Wednesday. I went out and cut the grass. That was my exercise. Somehow, I'm averaging only six hours of sleep. The plan, was that I was supposed to remain in bed, when I wake up early, but that is not working. So anyway, I got up and had some wonderful enchilada casserole. Of course I had to catch up on my shows.

Basically, it was just another uneventful day at the ranch. Love

Day 9 - It's Better To Give

I got my walk in again. The four mile walk was an hour well spent. I can't say that I got much done today, other than catch up on Hawaii Five-0 and Parking Wars. Just after finishing dinner, my youngest sibling brought me an enchilada casserole that I really didn't need, but she was so kind to honor my request. The water, vitamins, exercise, and diaologing has really helped. On to the next! Love

Day 8 - All Work And A Little Play

I had my soda on Sunday! Yippee!! I wasn't trying to avoid soda, but after drinking so much water each day, I just haven't had the capacity for the extra 20 ounces. I got a 4 mile walk in before going to bed. It's actually better for my sleep, to exercise before going to bed. I think the melatonin is also attributing to me having a more restful sleep.

Fast forward to my evening... I got a role again this year in a gospel stage play. I enjoy the little moment to step out of my shell for just a minute, and become this character. The play is coming along. This inspires me to continue writing an idea I had for a play. Just as soon as I can find the time. Love

Day 7 - Don't Tell Me How, Show Me

I didn't celebrate Mother's Day in the traditional way this year, with a card and gift, or taking my mom out to dinner.  I shower my mother with love all year long, just as my parents do me.  Sometimes I get irritated by the fact that folks only show love on holidays, special occasions, or funerals.  Am I wrong for that?  It's not for anyone to judge...its just the way things played out.  Even more so, since I've been an Aunt, I can honestly say that being a mother has got to be the hardest job on earth.  I'm not saying it's hard to love a child, but there is no step by step manual.  The day to day responsibilities are astronomical.  Watching my sister manage her three, its like "how are you doing it all"?  With all that mothers do, from baths, to feedings, to clothing, to changings, to pampering, to educating, to cleaning, to playing, to on and on and on...it's a great responsibility and I'm sure very rewarding. Watching your offspring grow from seed to responsible adult, has got to be the desire of every mother. To mothers everywhere, I salute you.  God made women, to handle this job, and has given you the resources and the wherewithal to pull it off, and at times, make motherhood look easy. 

I can recall my early years in really wanting love and attention from my mother.  Even back when there were just two or three of us kids in the family, I recall "screaming" out for my mothers affection.  I would write letters and leave it on the kitchen table.  I would hide (so I thought), just within earshot, so I could hear her reaction as she read my note.  Even as a 7-8 year old, I KNEW, mom knew I could overhear her talking to dad about my letter and she always said the right thing to reassure her love and intention for me.  Even to this day, I'm a very emotional being.  Getting hugs and being told "I Love You, back then, 30-35 years ago was something saved for church, holidays, birthdays, family reunions...etc.  I'm not saying that my parents didn't love me, cause they did, but what I am saying is that even today as an adult, the lack of affection has affected me.  Again, before anyone says anything, I know that my parents did the best they knew to do when raising a family.  As the saying goes, "when you know better, you do better".  Back then, there wasn't a lot of hugging and kissing on the cheek going on.  I desired that as a child.  I knew that.

And so things have changed, even as a family, as a society, we hug and embrace more, we say I love you more.  We are more comfortable with showing our emotions. My mother has grandkids now. Am I jealous of the love and attention they're shown? Sadly, probably. When I see my nieces, and nephews, I hug and love on them, as much as they'll let me. I always want them to know that their Aunt Tonya loves them. This is what is so wonderful about being in this moment. I'm comfortable expressing where I'm at in life. I address my issues and try to move on. In speaking with a male friend last night, I was sharing with him about my mother and how, possibly because of my independence, we don't spend the time together that we should. I can admit, I don't make the time that I should for family. I have let other things fill my time, and my relationship, with mom is not exactly where I want us to be.  Sure we love each other, there are just some things that even as a 40 year old woman, I still desire from my mother.  His response was, "Are you still hung up on all that old stuff"?  My reply was, "Who are you to tell me how I should feel? Who are you to say when I should get over something?". Growing up, my grandmother and mom were always going to Harry's IGA or Alco (lol) together. Grandma didn't drive, so she depended on her adult daughters to get out and about. That's what I remember. So it has played a role in what I want as far as being close with my mother.  I digress.  But my point was, memories don't change. If I experienced something, or felt a particular way about something as a child, how can you tell me how I felt?  You can't.  That's exactly why open communication is so very necessary between mother and child. There is no more special bond than that of a mother and child.  

In my adult years, I am more conscious of the impact that my actions have on those around me.  Not at all am I saying that I'm perfect.  I'm more aware that I too am a work in progress.   Mothers, while you are nurturing, feeding, educating, chastising and loving on your children, don't forget to take time to throw in a little hug every now and then.  A kiss on the cheek can't hurt either.  Children will remember that as they too will grow and raise a family of their own.  We are such a busy society.  Time is of the essence.  Just remember, the way you nurture will remain in your children's lives for ever.  There is nothing more special than the love of a mother.   Nothing makes my heart smile more, than to hear a message on the phone from my mom, "Hey Ton"!  Love

Day 6 - No Soda No Cry (or sleep)

I had a high level of anxiety all night. I just couldn't sleep. I'm assuming this anxiety was brought about, partially due to the high standards that I hold myself to (unnecessary worrying).  My family was coming to visit and get haircuts. There are some things that i will leave to the pros, and then there are times when I'll step out of my element and give it a try. I appreciate those who have put their faith in me when it comes to their hair.  While I still have lots to learn, I have come quite far.  Many times I tend to worry that something will be a challenge and it actually turns out alright. I guess the lesson to be reminded is, "Don't sweat things, out of your control. Do your best".

My energy level is on the rise.  I've been taking my vitamins and drinking every bit of the 90 oz. of water.  That's a lot of water.  Tuesday and Wednesday, I noticed that I hadn't had my (1) diet soda.  I didn't intend on eliminating pop, because I didn't want to deprive myself of anything.  Fast forward to Saturday, and I still hadn't had a soda.  The funny thing was, I didn't miss it.  I will have one soon though.  After 90 oz. of water, there just hasn't been any room for it. I'll get it in.  Love

Day 5 - Getting Back To Love

The day had the potential to be somewhat of a productive day, but then I lost it. If there was a way to stop the clock, so that I could get myself together, I'd stop it everyday.  Unfortunately, we'd never see tomorrow.  While watching my niece and nephews playing, the joy on their faces reminded me of a time when I too, loved to play on the slide and try to see how high I could swing.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to see my babies grow up. This is a blessing that I do not take for granted.

As I watched the kids laugh and play, I reflected on what makes me feel a sense of joy and peace. A couple things came to mind.  Its time to get back to that. Its time to get back to what I love and let TIME keep doing its thing, cause I'm the only one with the problem.  

Day 4 - Not So Much

 I was so tired from all that I did on Wednesday that I pooped out Thursday.  I didn't do half of what I could have. Oh well, today is a new day.  I had an interesting, brief, convo with a friend last night about relationship and intimacy (or the lack of). Anyway, that's one of the issues I have and I will be talking to this therapist about this and several other subjects.  Since this is not proper fb etiquette, I will not bore you with the details of my love life.  Thank you!

Day 3 - I Am Not Superwoman

The whole idea of this challenge is to assess my daily activities, and improve on scheduling and completing things that need to be done through the course of the day. I needed to find out what is contributing to this "slump" I'm in, and how to begin repairing the damage. I'm actually discovering things that I already knew. This inability to organize and plan, has become the reason that tasks are being partially completed. Boy, did I over do it today? I'm not sure where all this energy came from, but I clearly did too much. I'm not going to beat myself up over this one, but all things need to be taken in proportion. I'm learning...and I am a work in progress.

I made a stop by my favorite Sam's Club for a few minutes, then decided, I felt like walking. I didn't know I'd ultimately walk 6 miles. I was feeling real good after the walk, so I got this "birdbrained" idea to cut my grass. I did that. My neighbor had to run an errand, and asked me to keep an eye out on his property that he was working on, in the front yard. And so, I did that. (My problem with that was...I had to be at work in less than 6 hours, and I hadn't made it to sleep yet)!

So, my disappointment lies in the fact that I failed to plan. In evaluating my actions for the day, I discovered that I did just what I've been complaining against. Why would I run all day, to the point where my rest comes last. Get it together girl! For future reference, I must: 1. Assess the duties that NEED to be completed for the day, 2. Plan the necessary time to complete tasks, 3. Make sure proper rest is achieved, and 4.Don't take on assignments that will prevent #1-3. Work on saying "No", or "This is really not going to work for me today". It's OK really. Most things can wait. My journey to wellness, is NOT a long road ahead. It is up to me to ensure my success. I mean, what was I thinking...I ain't no superwoman.

Day 2 - A Step Toward Normal

Feeling alright.  I have received a lot of encouragement and some suggestions to try, as I make my 30 day journey to wellness.  I took the advice of my sister Laurie Z. and purchased B-12 vitamins.  In reading the bottle, B-12 promotes "brain health".  After taking it just two days, miraculously, I was able to remember where I put my bonus check from work.  I've been looking for that check for a month.  Thanks Laurie.  Lol.  As I was looking for a all-in-one vitamin, I came across melatonin.  The bottle said it aids in more restfull sleep and does not contain drugs.  That can never hurt.  As long as it doesn't turn into something that I MUST HAVE, in order to sleep.  I took it for the first time today. I really don't know how long I would have slept, because I was awakened by the auto mechanic's phone call.  I probably would have still been sleeping, but 6 hours is not bad.  Anyway, I got my 3 mile walk in today, 90 ounces of water, my vitamins, and even ran a few errands.  Today was a good day.  Love

Day 1 - Walk It Out

Today was a great day. As far as the challenge goes, I started the morning off with a five mile walk. The water intake is going to be the biggest challenge, but I'll get it done.  Vitamin-check, water-check, exercise-check.  I think I'm on the road to recovery.  Now, if only I can get this sleep thing down.   Love

Getting Back To Fabulous

The first of the month signifies different things for most folks.  For some, the first means, the anticipation of a check, mortgage payment is due, or someone is paying YOU back.  Well, today I'm giving myself a new start. From May 1- May 31, I'm challenging myself to live a healthier TODAY My goals are not set toward "weight loss", but toward "energy gain".  

Daily, I will;

Pray
Do some form of exercise 
Drink 90 oz. of water
Drink no more than 1 diet soda
Take a vitamin
Begin to work on eliminating "things"
Increase usage of the word "No" 

These are just a few of the things I will do, just as a personal challenge.  As I said last week, I'm feeling a little drained and in a slump.  Increasing healthier habits and decreasing harmful habits, should get me back on the road to fabulousness.  Each day, I will journal my progress. Are you living your best life?  Love